Lady: Is this
my train?
Station Master:
No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't
try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master:
No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~~~
A drunkard
was brought to court.
Just before
the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge
pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard
immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor; I'll have a scotch and
soda."
~~~~~~~~
Customer :
Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter :
Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
Little Susie came running into the house
after school one day, shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy!
I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's
great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in
to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well,”
began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in maths and 20 in sciences."
~~~~~~~~~
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and
frog's leg.
Customer:
Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter :
Funny? But then why aren't you
laughing?
~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher:
Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well,
Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
~~~~~~~~~~
An
absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble
is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has
this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist
‘How long has
what been going on?' said the man.
~~~~~~~~~~
Girl : Do
you love me?
Boy : Yes
Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No,
mine is undying love.
~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~
Wife :
Do you want dinner?
Husband :
Sure, what are my choices?
Wife :
Yes and no.
~~~~~~~~~~
Customer :
If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post
Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post
Master : Why not?
Customer :
It's addressed to Mumbai..
HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!
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